采访报告一则 An Interview Report

狸狸通讯记者尤狸安，对两位演员的独家专访。 Lili News reporter Joolyon's exclusive interview of two actors.

独家专访 | 鸽子组合：鸽川小子&海原小子

Exclusive Interview | The Pigeon Duo: Dovebrook Kid & Seafeld Kid

采访地点：满愿电视台-后台演播室

Interview Location: Fulwish TV, Backstage Studio

采访对象：鸽川小子（喜剧明星）&海原小子（悲剧明星）

Interviewees: Dovebrook Kid (Comedy Star) & Seafeld Kid (Tragedy Star)

采访狸：尤狸安

Furbo Interviewer: Joolyon

（本狸达到时，演员海原小子刚刚结束表演；演员鸽川小子距离上台还有半小时，正在化妆）

(When I arrived, actor Seafeld Kid had just finished his performance. Actor Dovebrook Kid was still getting his makeup done, with half an hour until his stage time.)

记者：先生们，感谢你们愿意在百忙之中，接受本狸的采访……

Interviewer: Gentlemen, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedules for this interview...

海原小子：不用谢，都是电视台安排的…又是身不由己的一天，不但在台上要充当大众的笑料，私人时间也要被蛮不讲理地占用，未免也太可悲了，呜哇哇哇哇……

Seafeld Kid: No need to thank me, it's all arranged by the TV station... Another day of not having control over my life. Not only do I have to be the butt of everyone's jokes on stage, but my personal time gets forcefully taken away too. How pathetic. Boo-hoo boo-hoo...

鸽川小子：往好了想，我们现在可是正通过另一种方式，成为大众的笑料呢——乐子神在上，未免也太可笑了，噗哈哈哈哈！

Dovebrook Kid: Look on the bright side, we're becoming a public laughingstock in a whole new way now. By The Laughter above, this is just too ridiculous, Hahaha!

记者：…无意冒犯，但原本一直不温不火的两位，最近的节目——《历代谒者面具大赏》和《不要注视月亮！》却相继创下电台十年以来的收视率新高，请问对此有何感想？

Interviewer: ...No offense, but for two hosts who've been relatively low-profile until now, your recent two shows: The Historical Supplicant Mask Showcase and Don't Look at the Moon! have both broken the station's decade-long ratings records. How do you feel about this?

海原小子：不敢想。

Seafeld Kid: I'd rather not think about it.

鸽川小子：哦，这个啊…听说上头赚了不少，之前脑子一热还想给我俩各自冠名一个节目呢——不过我们哥俩可是十五年的搭档，分开的话乐子可是要少整整一半！

Dovebrook Kid: Oh, that? I heard the higher-ups made quite a profit. They even toyed with the idea of giving each of us our own solo show. But hey, we've been partners for fifteen years. Split us up, and you'd be cutting the fun in half!

记者：哦…所以真像传闻中那样，两位的灵感来源来自于彼此吗？

Interviewer: Oh... So the rumors are true? You two draw inspiration from each other?

海原小子：你呼吸的时候，需要知道空气从哪来的吗？

Seafeld Kid: Do you need to know where air comes from when you breathe?

鸽川小子：我们不需要灵感，我们举手投足都是乐子——再说了，世界如此荒谬，只需转述，便能让人捧腹大笑…哦，当然，转述嘛也要分技巧的。

Dovebrook Kid: We don't seek inspiration. Fun just leaks out of us whenever we move! Besides, the world is so absurd that just retelling it makes people burst out laughing... Oh, of course, there's an art to the retelling.

记者：行吧…咳，目前很多观众都希望两位能合作，出一档新节目，请问之后会考虑吗……

Interviewer: Alright... ahem, many viewers are hoping you two could collaborate on a new show. Is that something you'd consider...?

海原小子：电视台考虑就考虑，问我们有什么用…你会问自己养的鱼，明天想待在哪口缸里吗？

Seafeld Kid: That's for the TV station to worry about. What's the point in asking us? Do you ask your pet fish which tank they'd prefer to live in tomorrow?

鸽川小子：哈哈哈好了小狸猫，我该上节目了哈哈哈。虽然我猜你肯定还有其它问题，但漫画连载的精髓就在于断章，以后有机会再聊吧！

Dovebrook Kid: Hahaha! Alright little furbo, I've got a show to get to. I'm sure you have more questions, but hey, the essence of serialized comics is the cliffhanger. We'll chat again when fate allows!