巴托莉•米兰达的手记（节选） Bartoli Miranda's Notes (Excerpt)

「千禧杀手」巴托莉•米兰达的手记。记载着她病态而扭曲的心路历程。 The diary of the Millennium Killer, Bartoli Miranda. It documents her journey through a morbid, distorted state of mind.

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智慧生命对于「被看见」普遍有一种病态的渴求。不只是靠注意力维生的幻造种，那些碳基或硅基的生命也是如此。他们生气的时候大吼大叫，因为想被看见。他们伤心的时候低声啜泣，因为想被看见。他们上电视、演电影、唱歌、辩论、执政，因为想被看见。

Sentient beings have a pathological craving to "be seen." It's not just the imagenae who live off attention. Carbon-based and silicon-based life forms are the same. They scream and shout when they're angry because they want to be seen. They sob quietly when they're sad because they want to be seen. They go on TV, star in movies, sing, debate, and govern... All because they want to be seen.

我也想被看见。但我和大部分人有着决定性的不同。大部分人是「想」被看见，而我是「应该」被看见。世间应当更多地看向我这样的人，而不是电视上转瞬即逝的蠢货。

I want to be seen too. But there's a fundamental difference between me and most people. Most people WANT to be seen, while I SHOULD be seen. The world ought to look toward people like me, not the fleeting idiots paraded across television screens.

1986年，我还是个实习医生，就参与开发了治疗幻造种叙事结构脆弱症的「斯多纳方案」，报纸上说这是「二相乐园第二个千年最伟大的医学进步」。依我看这应该叫「巴托莉方案」，因为斯多纳也是靠我的提示才得出结论的，况且那些年实验团队的咖啡也都是我去买的。

Back in 1986, when I was still a medical intern, I helped develop the "Stonar Protocol" for treating Narrative Structure Fragility in imagenae. Newspapers hailed it as "the greatest medical advancement of Planarcadia's second millennium." If you ask me, it should've been called the "Bartoli Protocol". Stonar only reached his conclusions with my hints. And let's not forget I was the one fetching coffee for the research team all those years.

但我也不打算为难斯多纳，毕竟他也还算是值得被人们看见的人，略逊于我而已。也没人在意他。他晚景很凄凉——倒是不贫穷，他还挺富裕的。只是我从没见过那么干瘪的噗噜，无人在意的幻造种都会变成这样。我才不要变成他这样，我得拿回我自己应该得到的东西，拿回属于我的瞩目。

But I'm not gonna make things hard for Stonar. He was, after all, still someone worth noticing. Just slightly below my level, that's all. Not that anyone cares about him. His later years were pretty bleak, not that he was poor, he was actually quite wealthy. It's just that I've never seen such a shriveled ploo. All imagenae who go unseen end up like that. I refuse to become like him. I will reclaim what's rightfully mine. I will take back my rightful place at the center of attention.

从转瞬即逝的蠢货们手里。

From the hands of those fleeting fools.

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我原本接受的医学教育，和「幻造种整形」基本上是两个截然不同的领域。好在我本身就比一般人聪明许多，都学得会。

The medical training I originally received and imagenae cosmetic reconstruction are basically two entirely different disciplines. Fortunately, I am far more intelligent than the average person. I can master both.

幻造种无法创造幻造种，这是乐子神创造这方世界时，一并订立的铁律。这样来讲，所谓幻造种整形医生所做的，实际上已经是悖逆星神的自然法则，去创造自己的法度了。

Imagenae cannot create imagenae, this is an iron law established when The Laughter created this world. As such, the so-called imagenae cosmetic surgeons are already defying the natural law of the Aeon, establishing their own doctrine of creation.

我不能凭空创造幻造种，因为愿力无法从我的体内流出，凝结成另一个个体。但我可以重塑其他幻造种的形体。让犄角换个形状、让嘴唇变个颜色、让皮肤多一些多彩的纹理、让双肋延展出一双翅膀…凭借这样的操作，我可以用微小的调整，创造出庞大的奇迹。

I can't create imagenae out of thin air. Wishpower can't flow from my body and condense into another individual. But I can reforge the forms of other imagenae. Change the shape of a horn, alter lip color, add vivid patterns to skin, extend wings from the ribs... With such minute adjustments, I can bring forth magnificent miracles.

这样被临时调整出的器官，往往是不稳定的。就像吹气球一样，内核是虚无的，没有任何叙事结构支撑。很快也会像气球一样逐渐干瘪下去。

Organs altered in this way are often unstable. Like balloons filled with air, their cores are hollow, unsupported by any narrative structure. In time, they'll inevitably wither and collapse.

比如说，我可以在一名欧克头顶延展出一根犄角，但如果没有任何结构性的支撑，这根犄角很快便会消失，只剩下一个光秃秃的绿脑门。但如果，这个犄角从此受到万众瞩目，那么它就会逐渐被愿力充盈，从而拥有稳定的结构，彻底固化在这名欧克的身体结构上，不再是一个脆弱的空壳。

For example, I could extend a horn atop an orch's head. But without structural support, that horn would soon disappear, leaving behind nothing but a bald green forehead. But if that horn were to command the center of attention, Wishpower would gradually fill it, granting it a stable structure and permanently integrating it into the orch's physiology. It will no longer be a fragile shell.

从原理上讲，如果我通过这样的方式，养殖出足够多的幻造种部件，等到它们愿力充盈之后，再将这些部件剥离出来，重新拼凑成一个新的个体——那么毫无疑问，我就是挑战「幻造种不能创造幻造种」的法则，创造了一个全新的幻造种。

In theory, if I were to cultivate enough imagenae components in this manner, allow them to become saturated with Wishpower, then strip them away and assemble them into a new individual, there would be no question that I would be defying the law that imagenae cannot create imagenae, thus creating an entirely new imagenae.

只不过做这种事没什么意义。还是把它们都移植到我身上更有价值。

But there is little value in doing so. It is far more worthwhile to transplant them all into myself.

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如果在整形外科诊所上班，我就要听从他们的安排，为所有上门的蠢货安排手术。这实在违背了我的初衷。

If I worked in a cosmetic surgery clinic, I would be forced to follow their schedules and operate on every fool who walked through the door. That would defeat the purpose.

第一、不是每个幻造种都能在手术之后，得到足够多的关注，从而让愿力充盈那个新生的器官。

First, not every imagenae can attract sufficient attention after surgery. Without it, the newly imagenated organ cannot be filled with Wishpower.

第二、这些人和他们希望被改变的部位，也不一定与我文脉相通。幻造种之间，只有文脉相同，才有可能相互融合。

Second, neither these people nor the parts they wish to alter necessarily share my textual lineage. Among imagenae, only those with identical textual lineage can potentially fuse with one another.

因巡诊所就是个不错的工作场所。他自己不解幻造种整形的工作，但也对我挣外快的行为视而不见。我就能自由地去寻找自己的「顾客」，本身要足够受人瞩目（不能太受人瞩目），又要与我文脉相通。

Izol's clinic proved to be an ideal workplace. He had no interest in imagenae cosmetic procedures himself, and he turned a blind eye to my side hustle. This gave me the freedom to seek out my own clients: individuals prominent enough (but not too prominent), and compatible with my textual lineage.

这是个长期工程。春种秋收，现在到了播种的时刻。

This is a long-term endeavor. One sows in spring and reaps in autumn, and now's the time to sow.

我的第一位「庄稼」已经上钩了。一个叫烬声的主播，做美妆的噗噜，一直不愠不火。直到我告诉她，她需要一个更好看的嘴唇。我并没有骗她，她的确需要。只是我比她更加需要。

My first "crop" has already taken the bait. A streamer named Embervox, a ploo who does beauty content, long languishing in obscurity. Until I told her she needed more attractive lips. I did not deceive her. She truly did need them. I simply needed them more.

接下来，要提前计划一下收割的方案了。我在想，如果以复诊的名义上门，应该可以打消对方的警惕。到那时候，我就应该██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

Next, I need to plan ahead for the harvesting. I'm thinking, if I make a house call under the guise of a follow-up examination, that should lower their guard. When that time comes, I should ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

（后文被异常防御部大面积屏蔽。应该是不适合向一般民众公开的内容。）

(The rest of the text has been heavily redacted by the Department of Aberration Defense. It is presumed unsuitable for public disclosure.)

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最后还剩下一个问题。

One question remains.

当我的全身布满其他幻造种的部位时，同样需要收到大量的愿力，才能让这些部位的结构彻底稳定下来，变得真正属于我。

When my entire body is covered with parts taken from other imagenae, I will likewise require vast amounts of Wishpower to fully stabilize these structures and truly make them mine.

所以，等到所有的收割工作都完成以后，我就必须将自己暴露于公众的视野之下了。这可能意味着被逮捕？或者被杀掉？

So once all harvesting is complete, I will have no choice but to expose myself to the public eye. That may mean arrest. Or death.

无所谓，我不是很关心自己能活多久。

It does not matter. I am not particularly concerned with how long I live.

在当代，人人都能成名十五分钟。

In the modern age, everyone can get their fifteen minutes of fame.

我就想要我的那十五分钟。

I only want my fifteen minutes.

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