幻月游戏胜者行迹：乐园多变化 Phantasmoon Games Winner's Traces: Arcadia Variations

一本娱乐读物，收录了幻月游戏胜者们为二相乐园带来的诸多乐子。 An entertainment read collecting all the fun that Phantasmoon Games winners have brought to Planarcadia.

又到了「幻月游戏」的季节：八名谒者轮番挥洒奇迹，用乐子和爆点吸引全二相乐园的目光，凭此谒见星神、获取一分钟的「欢愉」神力。

It's that time of year again... the Phantasmoon Games! Eight Supplicants take turns performing miracles, using fun and spectacles to grab everyone's attention in Planarcadia all for a chance to meet the Aeon and gain the power of Elation for one minute.

事实上，大部分人并没有作为神的「经验」。哪怕是星神的力量，也并非万能，如何使用和实现亦是一门独属于阿哈的艺术。当一分钟的神力落到自己身上，想象力也往往落到近处，搅得二相乐园天翻地覆。本文将着重讲述那些脑子不太好使的家伙，以及他们整出的大活。

Truth be told, most people have zero "experience" being a god. Even an Aeon's power isn't a fix-all. Knowing how to use it is an art form unique to Aha. When people get that one minute of power, their imaginations usually run wild in the worst ways, turning Planarcadia upside down. This article focuses on the folks who weren't exactly geniuses and the chaos they unleashed.

由于入画期间缺乏与现实世界的时间对照，关于这部分行迹，将采用乐园历进行记录。

Since time in the World in Canvas doesn't match up with the real world, we'll be using the Arcadian Calendar to track these Traces.

睡眠无价

Sleep is Priceless

据说，琥珀历2145纪，当那一次的幻月游戏分出胜负时，胜者「无忧客」正在睡觉。于是阿哈亲自来到那名谒者的公寓，将她摇醒。

Word has it that back in 2145 AE, when the winner of that year's Phantasmoon Games was announced, "The Carefree" was busy taking a nap. Aha actually went to her apartment and shook her awake themselves.

「醒醒，天都亮了怎么还睡呢？」

"Wakey wakey! The sun's out, why are you still sleeping?"

「放屁，天明明是黑的！」

"LIAR! It's pitch black out!"

自那之后，这颗星球每个地区的昼夜分布都变得混乱且相对独立，而那位谒者的住宅所在则永远处于黑夜。在入画时代，世界的各个区域在二维化中进一步紊乱，直接导致了，在今天的二相乐园，黑夜和白昼甚至能够出现在同一条街道的两端。

Ever since then, day and night across the planet have been completely out of sync. As for the winner's house, it stayed stuck in eternal night. During the Canvas Age, the world got even more jumbled during the shift toward Duomension. This directly caused today's Planarcadia to have broad daylight at one end of a street and total darkness at the other.

他太爱果冻了

The Jelly Lover

琥珀历2147纪，「果冻热」席卷了古弁才天国。人们坚信吃果冻可以美白健体、延年益寿，乃至踏上命途成为欢愉令使。

In 2147 AE, "Jelly Fever" swept through the ancient civilization of Benzaitengoku. People were convinced that eating jelly could make you healthier, live longer, and even help you become an Emanator of Elation.

那届幻月游戏结束后，一颗巨大的果冻星出现在哈托彼亚近地轨道上，并于一分钟时间内体积迅速减小，最终因质量不足而被哈托彼亚的引力捕获，变成了一座果冻岛。

When those Phantasmoon Games wrapped up, a giant jelly planet appeared in Ahatopia's orbit. In just one minute, it shrank so fast that Ahatopia's gravity snatched it up, turning it into a "Jelly Island."

游戏学者们猜测，是当年的赢家以「欢愉」神力顺手创造了这颗星球。据说它的残片如今仍浮在某个角落，迎接那些妄图挑战的果冻爱好者，但只有比肩令使的强者才可能把它吃完。

Scholars think the winner used their one minute of Elation power to create that planet just for fun. Some say fragments of it are still floating around, waiting for anyone brave enough to take a bite. But honestly, you'd need the power of an Emanator just to finish the whole thing.

随便

Whatever

乐园历1506年，胜者埃尔温压根没想好要用「欢愉」神力做什么。只说了两个字——随便。

In 1506 of the Arcadian Calendar, a winner named Erwin couldn't decide what to do with his power of Elation. He just said two words: "Whatever."

于是在那一分钟里，世界陷入了严重的非概率状态：脚踩的砖块下一秒就可能变成树叶，黑暗里随机刷新出蜂蜜、百合花、狸猫和会跳舞的纯棉毛巾，电线杆长出腿在地上飞奔，每扇门都连接到画中不同的空间坐标，且这一坐标还会随着时间产生变化。

During that minute, probability went out the window. One second you're walking on bricks, the next they're leaves. Honey, lilies, furbos, and dancing towels just started appearing in the dark. Telephone poles grew legs and ran off, and every door became a portal to a random spot in the World in Canvas that kept changing.

一分钟结束时，画中世界已然面目全非。受益于画中世界的特质，本次事件未造成太多的人员伤亡，但民众一致投票决定，惩罚埃尔温进行了长达一年的义务劳动工作。

When the minute was up, the World in Canvas was a total mess. Fortunately, because of how that world works, few really got hurt. Even so, everyone voted to make Erwin do a whole year of community service as a penalty.

广告招租

Ad Space for Rent

琥珀历2156纪，本次的胜者「数字达人」决定向外出租「欢愉」神力，于是在那一分钟时间里，二相乐园发生了以下事情：

In 2156 AE, the winner, "Digital Maven," decided to rent out their power of Elation. During that one minute, this is what happened in Planarcadia:

•所有四叶草变成了三叶草。

• All four-leaf clovers turned into three-leaf ones.

•所有蟑螂在睡觉时都会打呼噜。

• All cockroaches now snore while they sleep.

•所有出生的婴儿都会随机染发。

• Babies are now born with random hair colors.

•一位地产商的全部楼盘浮上了天，使其地价翻了三倍——但因为没有修建联通地面的梯子，购房者只能自行上天。

• A real estate developer's buildings all floated up into the sky, tripling the land value. However, since there were no stairs, the owners had to find their own way up to the sky.

•所有人类都能够到自己的脚趾（据说原本不行）。

• Everyone became flexible enough to touch their toes (apparently, that wasn't a thing before).

•所有蚊子都消失了。（但仅限于哈托彼亚的特定亚种，事实证明，这位胜者的生物分类学知识还有待提高）

• Mosquitoes were wiped out — but only a specific subspecies in Ahatopia. Guess the winner should've brushed up on their biology.

•一个普普瓦里人被流放到了外星。

• A random Popuali person got exiled to another planet.

•「筷子杀人魔」复活了，在留下一句遗言后又恢复了死亡。

• The "Chopstick Killer" was resurrected, said one last thing, and then went right back to being dead.

据说他的清单上还有几条没来得及实现，一分钟太短了。

Apparently, he had more items on his list, but one minute just wasn't long enough to get through it all.

奇怪的传言

A Strange Rumor

据说某届胜者试图杀死欢愉星神，而这也成功逗笑了阿哈：「欢愉星神？那不就是你自己吗？」

They say one winner actually tried to kill the Aeon of Elation. Aha just laughed and said, "The Aeon of Elation? But that's you!"

于是后来再没有人见过他。

And that was the last anyone ever saw of him.

蛋糕之神

The God of Cakes

琥珀历2157纪初，二相乐园所有蛋糕（烘烤时间在1个系统时以内的，推测烘烤时间过长会杀死蛋糕）都突然具备了开口说话的能力。它们会详细介绍自己的食材、品种和口味，随后面带微笑地求人吃掉自己，顺便说一套推销广播词。

At the dawn of 2157 AE, every cake in Planarcadia suddenly gained the ability to speak (the ones baked within a single system hour, as anything longer presumably "kills" them). They would boast about their ingredients and flavors, then flash a sugary grin while begging to be eaten, all while reciting pre-programmed sales pitches.

异常防御部花费了数月时间，才完成了对蛋糕的镇压与扑杀，并通过蛋糕遗传学确保日后不再出现新的蛋糕。不过，此次幻月游戏的胜者否认了自己参与此次事件的可能。

The Department of Aberration Defense spent months on a cake-culling crusade, eventually using "cake genetics" to ensure no more "sponges" would start speaking. Interestingly, the winner of that year's Phantasmoon Games flatly denied being the "baker" behind it.

幻月游戏史上还有很多离谱的事迹，在此不一一列举。但无论谒者还是普通人，我们的共同目标都是追求「欢愉」，或者说，幸福——也许吧。

Phantasmoon Games history is littered with such ridiculous tales, far too many to count. But whether you're a Supplicant or just an average bystander, we're all chasing the same thing: Elation... or maybe just a bit of happiness. At least, that's the idea.