「矿灯」巴列维的告顾客信 Customer Notice From Balaway the Miner's Lamp

一封巴列维停止公开鉴定古代遗物的公告。 A notice from Balaway to stop the public appraisal of ancient relics.

敬告各位掘出古代遗物的流浪者们：

To all vagrants who dig for ancient relics,

很遗憾，我将在本次税时结束后，完全停止古代遗物解读和鉴定的服务。此外，设在贸易集市里的咨询点也会关停。

Regrettably, I will be stopping my appraisal services at the end of this tax period. The consulting location at the market will also be closed.

换句话说，打今天起要是走在矿道里您被不知来历的古代铁疙瘩绊了一跤，又或者您的开采队不小心挖到了发出滚烫光线的古代武器，您就别屁颠屁颠地以为是老天爷赏饭吃。也别费那老鼻子劲儿把这些怎么都清理不干净的废铁往我这儿扛了。

In other words, from this day forward, if you stumble over something in the mines, or if your mining team happens upon an ancient weapon, don't think it's a gift from the gods. And don't bother carrying all that junk over to me.

就像在上面说的：没戏。我的活儿彻底停了。

As mentioned above, it's done. I'm done.

想必有人会问了，干得好好的怎么就不干了呀？那我就勉为其难郑重统一地回答一下吧，省得各位搞不清楚状况。

I'm sure some of you will be pondering the reason behind my quitting when work is going well. I suppose I should make the effort to give everyone a proper response.

第一，这活儿吃力不讨好。

First of all, it's a thankless job.

我从事这项工作，本是想借助我辛苦收集来的旧世界科技说明书和手稿什么的，帮大家对古代遗物的功能进行解读和鉴定。这样，大家对自己捡来的玩意心里至少是能有个谱，和人讨价还价的时候多少有点数。

When I started this business, I wanted to use the Old World manuals I tirelessly collected to help everyone analyze and appraise their ancient relics. That way, everyone would at least have a sense of the items they found, and can have a better sense of value when selling their items.

懂的都懂。到了这年头，已经没人晓得旧世界的人是怎么造出那些机器的，更加没人晓得他们脑袋里装的知识了。

It's pretty clear for those who know. These days, no one understands how people from the Old World built these machines, much less the knowledge they had in their heads.

有些古代遗物一暴露到空气里就爆炸，比塞满瓦斯的矿道还危险。有的普通的跟一条金属棍似的，看起来和你婆娘拿来捅炉子的烧火棍没什么区别。但要按下上面某个按钮，它就会跟你家婆娘发脾气时一样爆，一样可怕。

Some ancient relics explode when exposed to the air, making it more dangerous than a mine filled with gas. Some were as plain as a metal rod, not unlike the one your wife uses to poke the stove. But push the button somewhere on it, it'll be as scary as one of your wife's temper tantrums.

举个例子吧。上个税时我拿到了一个椭圆形的蛋状物体（没错，贝洛伯格肉联厂卖过的那种蛋）。我翻遍了所有手稿，其中还包括旧世界的杂志，最终得出了一个结论——这是某种被称为「拉姆烈彩蛋」的珠宝。

Let me give you an example. During the last tax period, I received an egg-shaped object. (That's right, the kind of egg sold at Belobog Meat Factory.) Anyway, I went through all the manuscripts, including Old World magazines, and finally concluded that it was some kind of jewelry, known as the "Ramlea Egg."

那么问题来了，珠宝是什么？请教了乌尔特老先生后，我们总算知道，珠宝是用于装饰的物品。瞧瞧，旧世界的人就是骚气，就是事儿多。

Let's start with a question: What is jewelry? After asking old Uther, we learned that jewelry is a type of decoration you can wear. It seems that Old World people really had nothing better to do.

老先生拿着这热蛋敲了半天，并且拆掉了上面某个可能用于挂东西的小环。然后热蛋就发光发热了，是的，它放出了比几百盏矿灯叠在一起还亮的光（可能有老先生夸大的嫌疑）。好嘛，老先生那双原本看东西就不清不楚的眼睛现在彻底歇菜了。我福大命大，事发时去冲茶水了，这双眼睛侥幸没事，但也快被老先生的儿子打瞎了，赔了六十多个罐头才把事情趟平。

The old man banged the egg a few times on the table, then removed the pin on top, which might have been used to hang something on it. Suddenly, the egg started heating up and glowing. It produced a light stronger than hundreds of mine lamps stacked together (Uther might have exaggerated this). The old man could already barely see anything, and now he definitely can't. You can say that I was lucky. When the incident happened, I was in the other room making tea. My eyes were fine but the old man's son threatened to take out my eyes until I offered him sixty canned goods.

现在您明白了吗？哥是在豁出性命在给你们鉴宝啊，但各位给的好处费实在是抹不平医疗损伤。

Do you understand now? I'm putting my life on the line for you guys, but the money you're paying me won't even cover my medical fees.

好的，接下来讲讲第二点：「矿灯」的权威遭到了质疑。

Right, here's the second point: Miner's Lamp's standards were called into question.

这磐岩镇外头越来越危险，来到咱镇上的流浪者也是越来越多了。可是啊，这人一多起来之后，流言蜚语也就跟着来了。我可已经听到不少「巴列维就是瞎鉴定」、「铆钉镇随便来个流浪者都比他强」之类的蠢话——不知道这种毁谤中伤到底是哪些别有用心的人放出来的，我也懒得去争。行嘛，咱大不了甩手不干了呗！反正各位能找到更有眼光的鉴宝专家不是？

The area outside Boulder Town is getting more and more dangerous and more and more vagrants are coming here. But with more people, comes more gossip. I've heard enough of foolish things like "Balaway is a blind appraiser," or "Any vagrant from Rivet Town is better than him." I don't know what game they're playing with this slander, but I'm not interested. Better to simply pack my bags and leave. After all, it should be easy to find a better appraiser, right?

我过去一直忠诚服务于各位幸运儿，从没想过贪图过各位挖到的古代货。说到底是因为咱内心敞亮，从来就不做坑蒙拐骗的事情。但是外面来的那些家伙，你能放心吗？他们就是一群唯利是图的家伙，你这些宝贝在他们的口中一文不值，当你相信了这些鬼话之后，他们就大大方方地从你的手里把宝贝买下，自己想办法到别处去大赚一笔了。

I have been faithfully serving you lucky dogs in the past and never thought of coveting the ancient goods you dug up. The very reason is that I am an honest person and have never done anything to cheat. But what about those outsiders? Can you trust them? They are nothing but a bunch of self-serving scoundrels who only care for themselves. They will denigrate those goods you value, but if you believe their nonsense and sold your goods to them as if you were selling scraps, then they will happily take them to flip for a high price elsewhere.

不过，「矿灯」巴列维也不是一个绝情的人，万事也有例外。

But, Miner's Lamp Balaway is not a heartless person. I can make exceptions.

如果各位手上的宝贝价值不菲，我也不是不可以帮各位把把关的。就当我是古道热肠，担心大家被骗了，才不得不打破原则。明白了吗？要还是一堆破铜烂铁的话，我建议你还是另请高明好吧，巴列维这里已经停止鉴定服务了。

If the treasure you have is of great value, I might still be able to help you check it out. Think of me as being so fervently compassionate about no one getting cheated out of their fortune that I'll break my hiatus for these exceptional cases. But if it's just a piece of scrap, I suggest you find someone else. Balaway has henceforth ended his appraisal services.