飞行士的交换日记 An Exchange Diary Between Pilots

搭档飞行士之间的交换日志，跨越了漫长的时间。 A journal used for diary exchanges between partner pilots over a long period of time.

驭空的交换日记 Yukong's Exchange Diary

……

...

采翼，咱们两个要成搭档了！

Caiyi, we are going to be partners!

虽说你我认识了这么久，但当初开着星槎在城里非法竞速的时候，咱俩可是对手关系！现如今要我们老老实实坐在一起，生死与共、肝胆相照，我还真不习惯。

We've known each other for so long, but when we first knew each other racing starskiffs illegally in the city, we were rivals! Now that we're asked to work together and have each other's back, I'm really not used to it.

当然，我主要是不习惯和竞速时的手下败将同舟共济，但没辙，军令如山嘛。嘿嘿。

Naturally, I'm not used to having to look after someone who lost against me, but an order's an order, heh.

不开玩笑了。我还是很期待和你一起飞行的。

I jest. I really look forward to flying with you.

也不知道什么时候才会接到战斗任务。不知道你是怎么想的，但我是觉得，现在咱们俩空有一身本领，却不能上阵杀敌，实在是憋得慌。

I don't know when we would receive a combat mission. I don't know what you think about our situation, but I think we both have considerable skills, and having to sit still and not fight enemies in the front lines, it's stifling.

那些丰饶民时不时就要袭扰边境，偶尔还会听闻他们又残害了哪个无辜的星球，每当我听到这些消息，都觉得满腔怒火无处发泄…不过现在好了，等过一段时间，我们就能开着斗舰去给他们点颜色瞧瞧了。

Those Denizens of Abundance often raid the border and occasionally there are reports of them harming innocent planets. Every time I hear these news, I feel an overwhelming sense of anger... but now, things are different. After a while, we'll be able to show them what we're made of on our fighter jets.

不过坦白讲，对现在的日子，我也是知足的。毕竟…咱们私下里说，真正吸引我的可从来不是那些荡涤妖寇的大义名分。真正吸引我的只是飞行本身。

Honestly though, I'm pretty satisfied with my life right now. After all... just between you and me, what I really wanted was never the righteous cause of ridding demonic activities. What attracts me is just the act of flying itself.

你看，在洞天外的宇宙中飞行，与我早已习惯的星槎竞速是不同的…宇宙中四下无依，甚至没有上下之分，斗舰孤零零地挂在空中，像大洋中心的夜航船。此时你没办法依靠任何人，只能信赖自己的技艺，和自己驾驶的斗舰。

Look, flying out in the universe outside of the delves is entirely different from racing starskiffs that we're so used to... There is nothing to anchor us in space, there's not even a distinction between up and down. Our fighter jets would be hung in space by their lonesome selves like ships sailing in the middle of the ocean. By then, there is no one else you can rely on but your own skills and your jet.

总听人说，这种感觉叫做「孤独」。可我却更愿意称之为「自由」。

Some may call this "feeling lonely," but I prefer to call it freedom.

所以对我而言，能够在宇宙中飞行，就已经足够好了。而如果能和你一起共享这份甘美的「自由」，那可真是好上加好。

To me, to fly in space is already good enough. And if I can share this sweet freedom with you, then that's even better.

……

...

采翼，我不知道该说些什么才能安慰你。你总是这样，无论遇到什么糟糕的事，都会摆出一副不需要人关心的坚强模样，然后说一些不合时宜的玩笑话。

Caiyi, I don't know what to say to console you. You're always like this, no matter what terrible things happened to you, you would act strong, as if you don't need anyone to care for you, and you have terrible timing for jokes.

但我们相处了一百多年，彼此之间早已心照相交。你曾说过，一件事如果对我而言是不愉快的，那你也绝不会舒服。其实我也是如此。

But we have been together for over a hundred years and I think we understand each other very well. You once said that if something is unpleasant for me, it would also be uncomfortable for you. I actually feel the same way, too.

此刻我觉得像是有人在用生锈的钝刀剜我的心。我实在是难以想象你在承受多么巨大的伤痛。

Right now, my heart feels like it's being gouged out with a blunt, rusted knife. I can't imagine the amount of hurt and pain you're going through.

说来滑稽，我似乎从来没给过广渊好脸色。每次你抛下我，和他一起出任务，我都觉得心里不是滋味。尤其是看到你们打情骂俏、如胶似漆，腻得像一大盆只有肥油的红烧肉时，我都忍不住要甩给他一个不屑的冷脸。

It's funny, I've never shown Guangyuan my good side. Every time you leave me alone to go on a mission with him, I feel uncomfortable. Especially when I see you two flirting and getting along as if you're inseparable, I can't help but want to glare at him with disdain.

但广渊真是一个很好的人。我对他那样失礼，他却总是对我展现善意。事到如今回想起来，实在觉得自己是个不识好歹的人。

But Guangyuan is a good person. No matter how rude I was to him, he was always kind to me. Thinking back on it now, I realize I'm just really bad at appreciating people.

唉…他可真了不起，只用两个人就拖住了敌人的几十艘舰艇。这可不是靠勇气和觉悟就能做到的，还需要卓绝的技巧和过人的才能。

Ah... he's really amazing. He managed to hold off several dozen enemy ships with only two people. This isn't something that can be done with just courage and resolve, it also requires exceptional skills and extraordinary talent.

我都能想象得出来，在最后时刻，他那张令人不快的俊俏脸庞上表现出了怎么样的坚毅和专注。我猜想那就是你当初爱上他的原因。

I can imagine what it was like in his final moments, how his annoyingly handsome face must have shown such determination and focus. I guess that's why you fell in love with him in the first place.

我都能想象得出来，在最后时刻，他心里有多自豪。那时他一定没有恐惧，也没有绝望，只有自豪。

I can imagine how proud he must've felt in that moment. He must've had no fear or hopelessness, only pride.

所以你也不该悲伤，你该为他自豪。我们都应该。

So you shouldn't be sad. You should be proud of him. We all should.

……

...

采翼，我最近心里有很多负面情绪，但又不能讲给其他在前线的战士。既然你现在在后方休养，就宣泄给你好了。

Caiyi, I've been having a lot of negative emotions recently that I cannot express to other fighters on the front line. Since you're recuperating in the rear, I'll just dump them on you.

虽然事到如今才说这种话，显得我有点迟钝…但的确是直到最近，我才恍然醒悟——原来我正身处一场这样残酷的战争。

Although it seems I'm a bit slow to say such words now, it was only recently that I realized that I am actually in the midst of such a cruel war.

空战不像陆战，虽然都是生死一瞬，但却难得见到残肢断臂，以至于我在直觉上有些误判了这场战争的残酷性。直到最近，战况越来越不利，血淋淋的现实才以一种温和的方式不容置疑地呈现在我面前。

Space combat is different from ground combat. Although both involve life and death in an instant, it is rare to see severed limbs and broken bodies in space, which led me to misjudge the brutality of this war. It wasn't until recently, as the situation on the front lines worsened, that the bloody reality gently but indisputably presented itself before me.

今天坐在一起吃饭的人，明天就不见了。今天夸奖过的新兵，明天就不见了。今天与我争执过的长官，明天就不见了。今天和我相互鼓励过的地面部队，明天就不见了。

Someone might sit beside you for a meal today and be missing in action tomorrow. A new soldier earning praise and honor today might disappear the next. The captain I fought with today might not be found tomorrow. The ground troops that exchanged encouragement with me today might be eliminated the next.

到了这个份上，我已经不敢和任何人产生情感上的连接了。说不定明天这人就死了，说不定明天我就死了，说不定明天我们都死了。

At this point, I'm wary of building personal connections with anyone here. Perhaps that person would perish, or I might perish, or we might both perish in the day to come.

我以为经历得多了，我就麻木了。但我还是难以应对每天接踵而来的噩耗。

I thought I have experienced enough to feel numb, but bad news kept coming in waves every single day.

不过，我不后悔。每当我感到痛苦时，又会同时感到，成为斗舰飞行士是我人生中最正确的决定。

However, I don't regret this at all. Whenever the pain comes, the feeling that becoming a fighter pilot is the best choice I have made in my life will follow.

如果我不是斗舰飞行士，我就只能默默承受痛苦。可我是斗舰飞行士，我可以飞行，我可以战斗，我可以试着去摧毁那痛苦的根源。因为我是斗舰飞行士，所以我还有能够做到、能够改变的事。

If I weren't a fighter pilot, I can only endure this pain in silence. But I am one. I can fly, I can fight, and I can attempt to destroy the source of my pain. Since I am a fighter pilot, I still have things that I can do, realities that I can change.

另：不要用广渊想的名字，实在是太难听了！名字可是要跟着小孩一辈子的大事！采用我的方案吧，那可是我认认真真翻了好几天诗集才想出来的。

P.S.: Don't use the names Guangyuan came up with, they're terrible! Choosing a name is a big decision the child has to bear with for a lifetime! Use my suggestion instead, it's something I picked after diligently going through several collections worth of poetry.

……

...

采翼，我有很多话想和你说，很多很多话。

Caiyi, I have a lot to tell you. So many things.

你死之后，他们要给我授勋。坦率地说，我觉得这很可笑。

After your death, they wanted to honor me with a medal. Truthfully, I find that laughable.

照常理来说，没有人会给天灾人祸的幸存者授勋，以表彰获勋者竟然可以幸运地活下来。可是天舶司会。他们给我授勋，说我是英雄飞行士，唯一的原因就是我足够幸运，从那场灾难般的战役中幸存了下来。

Based on common logic, no one would award survivors medals to praise their fortuitous survival. But no, not the Sky-Faring Commission. They gave me a medal, called me a hero pilot, and the only reason for it is because of my luck to remain alive in that calamitous battle.

如果你也这么幸运，我们现在就可以一起获勋了。授勋仪式之后，我们两个再跑到金人巷去，一边小酌两杯一边嘲笑他们的荒谬。

If you had been as lucky as me, we could've gotten the medals together. After the medal ceremony, we could've gone to Aurum Alley, have a few drinks, and laugh at the absurdity of it all.

可惜，你运气不够好。我们没有这个机会了。

It's a shame, luck is not on your side. We don't have that chance anymore.

我突然觉得很怀念。怀念起我们驾驶着星槎在罗浮空中肆意穿行的好时光。那时候我们多快活，没有生死存亡的威胁，也不必承担巡猎的使命。洞天中的整片天空都是我们的，只有你与我，抬头是明灭闪烁的洞天穹顶，低头是人烟阜盛的万家灯火，回头是穷追不舍的地衡司执事。

I suddenly feel nostalgic. I remembered all the time we had steering our starskiffs across the Luofu sky. We were so carefree. There were no threats to our lives, and we didn't have to bear the calling of The Hunt. The entirety of the sky within the delve was ours — yours and mine. Above us was the delve's flashing dome ceiling, and below us were the bustling lights of ten thousand homes. Oh, and behind us, the Realm-Keeping Commission officers who just won't stop chasing us.

那时候我们多快活。我好想和你永远留在那时。

That was a time of insouciance, how I wish we could stay in that time forever.

……

...

采翼的交换日记 Caiyi's Exchange Diary

……

...

驭空，能有机会和你并肩作战，我真得很开心。

Yukong, I'm happy to have a chance to fight side-by-side with you.

分组名单发下来的时候，我紧张到不敢打开展阅查看，生怕我们两人不能被分到一起。倒不是舍不得你，只是你这火一般的性子，要是将你交与别人，我可真是放心不下。

When the pair assignment was sent out, I was so nervous that I didn't dare to open and check it, fearing that we wouldn't be paired up. It's not like I can't bear to part with you, but I was worried to leave you with the others with your fiery temperament.

等以后到了战场上，你可不要像现在这样，总凭着一腔热血去蛮干，做事前多想想后果…算了，不说这些了，免得你又埋怨我说话像个老干部。总而言之，我们要齐心协力，发挥各自的特长，在广袤的天空中写下属于我们自己的传奇。

When you actually get to the battlefield, don't act recklessly like you do now, always charging in with hotheadedness. Before taking action, think more about the consequences. But it's okay, I don't want to talk about this anymore, or you'll accuse me of nagging like an old crone again. In any case, we need to work together, using our individual strengths to create our own legends in the vast sky.

期待和你一起搏击长空，期待到有些难以入眠。

I look forward to fighting in the vast skies with you, so much so that I'm finding it hard to fall asleep.

……

...

驭空，别哭了。不必难过。

Yukong, don't cry. There is no need to be sad.

真是的，死的是我老公，你怎么哭得比我还伤心。打了这么多年的仗，你还是这么感情充沛，真羡慕你。

My husband was the one who died, but you're crying more than I am. After so many years of fighting, you're still so emotional. I'm envious.

斗舰飞行士本就是九死一生，既然选择了这条路，就要做好心理准备。重要的并非我们能否侥幸活下来，而是我们能否活出飞行士的人生价值。

Being a fighter pilot has always been a harrowing decision. Since we chose this path, we have to be mentally prepared. What's important is not whether we can survive by luck, but whether we can live up to the value of a pilot's life.

广渊和他的搭档，两个人一艘斗舰，拖住了步离人的一整支编队。他们是作为英雄牺牲的，对我而言，这就已经足够了。

Guangyuan and his partner managed to keep an entire borisin fleet at bay. They were heroes. To me, that is enough.

以前我听人说，人生最大的幸福是能选择自己如何死去。从这个角度来讲，为了仙舟联盟…不，为了全银河的黎民苍生，戎马一生最终战死沙场——广渊大概也算是幸福的。

I've heard it said that the greatest happiness in life is being able to choose how you die. From this perspective, to fight for the Xianzhou Alliance... no, for the people of the entire cosmos, to die on the battlefield after a lifetime of military service, Guangyuan is probably happy.

当然，你还是不要获得这种幸福了，给我老老实实再活个两百年然后老死在病床上吧。

Of course, you better not have this kind of happiness, just live another two hundred years, behave, and then die of old age for me.

……

...

驭空，好久不见。我还在后方休我的产假，一切都安好。

Yukong, it's been a long time. I'm still on my maternity leave in the rear. Everything is fine.

现在战况胶着，你一定很忙碌。但是方便的时候，请你抽空写一下交换日记，以便我知道你还平安…而且我还憋了一肚子话想和你讲。

With the stalemate happening right now, you must be very busy. But when you have the chance, please take a moment to write an exchange diary entry for me, so that I can know you are still safe... and also, I have a mountain of things I want to talk to you about.

首先和你报告一件事，我已经决定好给孩子起什么名字了。

Firstly, an announcement. I've already decided on a name for our child.

广渊生前其实嘱托过，如果是男孩就起名叫「飞龙」，如果是女孩就起名叫「飞凤」。但这个人的文学造诣和永狩原里的猴子差不多，再怎么死者为大，也绝不能按照他的心意毁了我女儿的人生。

Guangyuan has talked about this before. If it's a boy, name him Dragon, and if it's a girl, name her Phoenix. But this man's literary sense is as good as the monkeys in the Ever-Hunt Plains. No matter how much we should prioritize the wishes of my late husband, I cannot let his wants ruin my child's life.

所以思来想去，我最终决定采用你的方案，给孩子起名叫「晴霓」。

So after much pondering, I've decided to go with your suggestion and name her Qingni — the colors of dawn.

「月营开射圃，霜旆拂晴霓。」真难得你还能翻出诗词做典故，我还以为你心里只有斗舰呢。

"The moonlit camp opens to a garden of archery, frosty banners brush the colors of dawn." How rare, you made the time and effort to look through poems and allegories. I thought you only cared about fighter jets.

你不要太想我。等我再休养几个月，安顿好晴霓，就会尽快归队的。晴霓还这么小，我就要丢下她去打仗了…怎么说呢，我还真是不称职的母亲。

Don't miss me too much. After taking a few months of break and settling Qingni down, I will be back in action ASAP. Qingni is still so young, and I need to leave her to fight a war... How should I say this, I'm such an irresponsible mother.

然而我也很清楚，前线并不乐观，步离人势如破竹。媒体在尽可能地阻止恐慌蔓延，但现在整个罗浮都弥漫着不安的气息。

I am well aware. The situation on the front line doesn't look so good. The borisin keeps breaking our ranks. All the media outlets are trying to control the spread of panic and fear, but the Luofu is shrouded with a veil of uneasiness.

不过，我相信仙舟联盟一定可以胜利。我相信像你我这样的战士，一定可以将那些丰饶民赶回老家。

However, I believe the Xianzhou Alliance will win. I believe that warriors like you and me will repel those Denizens of Abundance to whence they come.

期待我们再次并肩作战。

I look forward to fighting beside you once more.

……

...

驭空，明天我们将会赶赴一个残酷的战场。

Yukong, we will be heading toward a cruel battlefield tomorrow.

所以今晚，有些事情我必须嘱托给你。（这大概有些不吉利，但没办法，谁叫我们以前从来没相互嘱托过这些事呢？）

So tonight, there are some things I must entrust to you. (This may be somewhat ominous, but there's no help for it. Who made it so that we've never entrusted these things to each other before?)

如果你活下来了，而我没有，请好好照顾晴霓。像照顾自己的女儿那样照顾她。我知道，你一定会这么做的。我的全部存款都交予你，请当做晴霓的抚养费。

If you lived and I didn't, please take care of Qingni like you would your own daughter. I know you will. I will entrust you with all my savings, please use that as living expenses for Qingni.

无论晴霓想成为什么样的人，都请全力支持她。商人、诗人、街头艺人，无论她想做什么都可以。但唯独不可以做斗舰飞行士。

No matter what kind of person Qingni wants to become, please support her fully. Merchant, poet, street performer, anything except a fighter pilot.

请允许我擅自和你立下一个约定：不要让晴霓成为斗舰飞行士。

Please allow me to make a vow with you: Do not let Qingni become a fighter pilot.

刚入伍时，你曾在交换日记里写道——斗舰孤零零地挂在空中，像大洋中心的夜航船。…总听人说，这种感觉叫做「孤独」。可我却更愿意称之为「自由」。

When we enlisted, you wrote in this diary: "Our fighter jets would be hung in space by their lonesome selves like ships sailing in the middle of the ocean." "...Some may call this 'feeling lonely,' but I prefer to call it freedom."

我特别喜欢这一段。因为我也是这么想的。

I really loved this segment, because I thought the same.

但是已经够了，「孤独」也好，「自由」也罢，你我都已经尝够了。答应我，别让那孩子触碰天空。

But that's enough. Loneliness or freedom, we've already tasted it all. Promise me, don't let that child touch the sky.

……

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